Hello exhaustion

You know something bad has happened when you find yourself contemplating how important it really is to pull your pants up after using the bathroom.  You're at home right?  It's not like anyones going to see.

Oh gosh...

Love not setting an alarm tonight : )

For the sweetest little girl in the world...

Now on to more important things. This is the greastest little video ever. I don't know why it isn't a bigger deal.

Watch it. Change your life.

Dog Rape! - watch more funny videos

The clean fresh smell of the new year!! Buy one get one free!

Hey... how's it going? Been a while. You look good.

Uh...

...Awkward silence...

..longing stare...


Uh

Okay, It's been a month... or four. But I'm back now, and I'm blogcasting (Patten it!) from a spankin' new computer! The best part is I have it all to myself. Which means two beautiful things: More opportunities to not see the sun and more opportunities to blog. As we come to this new year, I will be here for you, and by seacrest we're going to make it baby! *Cue the montage*

Now, so much awesome has happened since I last blogged. OBAMA. So much greatness I can't even begin. Jim and Pam got engaged, my heart soars with the eagles nest! And the entertainment value that is Gary Busey on Celebrity rehab! "Whenever I start talking too much say cut"

Although just as many awful things happened this year as awesome I prefer not to focus on it. The news is doing enough of that already. "WE ARE ALL GOING TO LOOSE OUR JOBS, LOOSE OUR HOMES AND DIE." I'm so tired of it. As much as I know how real the deficit is I also know a schtick when I see it. Stop repeating yourself, Anderson coops, and tell us how things can get better. It does nothing for your looks, and that takes a lot.

But that's life, huh? Great things happen and horrible things happen. It's what makes the world turn and what grants us a fresh start in the new year. I learned many useful things this year. Nelle makes me smile big, dominating your family of four in Wii sports does NOT grant you athletic ability or qualify you as an athlete of any kind and Tina Fey is King.
And right now I'm about to eat two too many egg rolls and stay up way past their bed time with my family. What ever the lords of fear and money say, I'm okay. I still have chinese food.

Love counting down to a big new year of crazy.

: )

Writing and emotional profoundness of an extra terestrial...

Hola Interneticans! Greetings! The other day I was wondering why we do the things we do, like really? Now I'm not talking about deep psychological actions, no freudian I have ten cats because I'm in love with my mother type of thing. Just what motivates us day to day? As a writer (oh, seacrest, that is way pretentious "Ahs auh wrightah") or as some one who enjoys creating made up people who live out our fantasy lives those motives are kind of pivotal. A lot of times after I write some dialogue like:

female protagonist with daddy issues and a mild drug addiction: What are you doing here?
Male reluctant leader with a savior complex (sounds rather jacky sheps, no? Maybe winehouse too.): Nothing. What are you doing?
female protagonist with daddy issues and a mild drug addiction: I was looking for you.
Male reluctant leader with a savior complex: you were?
female protagonist with daddy issues and a mild drug addiction: Yes. [she walks up to him, perhaps a slight limp or a twitching left eye] I'm dying-
Male reluctant leader with a savior complex: Nonono
female protagonist with daddy issues and a mild drug addiction: [As she dies] I... I love [she dies]
Male reluctant leader with a savior complex: NOOOOOOO!

After that do you say, "well I get that, cause that happens every day"... not really. Basically I've found myself asking why do these character make the choices they make? And, would this happen realistically within the binds of the story? I mean, you can ask this in any setting. Even if the character is living on a planet beyond our solar system with three heads it's realistic for the character to ask themselves if they want to decapitate one of the heads to fit in with a two headed society. (This also comes along with deep inner struggle which can buy you at least five pages of witty and poignant Meredith grey esq dialogue.)

Now as I am in between two quite inadequate scripts for the coming year for the highly profound film maker Ava Awesome I've found this question, although at times tedious, highly affective. It gives characters deeper development and grants them several layers. This layering also makes them more relateable because you are asking these fictional characters real questions that a real audience asks themselves everyday, (although these films are intended to have an imaginary audience screening as well. We don't discriminate.)

Well now that I've ranted and made your eyes bleed (Holy shizbuckets did anyone see the x-files movie yet? lasgosgnalknegzdlnkgdklgdknl!!!) I'd just like to say something witty... but a las a real person doesn't always have something witty to say. And I'd really liked to pass as a human being before the planet of two heads (BiCapa!) comes back for me.

Love phoning home, well at least when it creates a dramatic story climax and requires strings in the score and a hearty supply of kleenex.

: )

Summer for the hermit crab

So a few weeks ago I know where you were. You were looking up at the sky praying to thor/sam champion to make the heat not come. And yet like every year you found yourself walking the streets of baking concrete stumbling through your doorway with your shirt half off because the humidity levels are about twice as much between the cleave. So as to avoid the heat and those jolly ole' sun fun people this summer here's some stuff you can do to effectively preserve your shut in status.

Television:

Now if you haven't joined the cults of the office and Lost I don't know what to do with you and it is your social responsibility to take a few days in your pajamas and hagandaz to watch these two glorious contributions to the world but if you have then here's a few more shows you should be watching and referencing within your daily life.

30 Rock - Hey everybody, lets let Tina Fey change our lives. Man oh man, idol status.

Battlestar Galactica - Don't laugh this little gem of nerdfighter off. Yes it is a space show but that is hardly the biggest part of it. With a social message BSG successful gives the viewer corruption, sex and pure badassness in no gravity.

Weeds - I personally am marathoning this now. So good.

Arrested Development - Do you want to be the first analrapist? Join us tobias funkes of the world and pick this too good show too fast gone up.

Jon and Kate + 8 - This show is addictive. It's so wrong and so right and adorable and heart warming and goes great with a glass of milk and a smile.

Music

Give Feist, Ben folds, and coldplay a new, old or sun burned ear.

Books

Me talk Pretty one Day by David Sedaris

The bell Jar by Sylvia Plath

The Other Boyeln Girl by Phillippa Gregory

Computer fun stuffers

Postsecret.com

Photoshop (harness your skills, young grasshoppers)

The Sims 2 (Bored? No longer my son)



Well here's the thing friends I've been having quiet the summer beneath the sun, and you know the outside world. It was scary at first but you know it's good to know you can come home at night your tv waiting with a freshly prepared set of DVR'd goodness. When the two summer worlds collide it's pretty glorious.

love sun rays and computer rays

: )

So basically, we thrust in hallways...

So deflecting from Emo shit


OH MY GOD


Jack and Kate get together. And have SEX a lot of SEX


My ship does it in the shower... so... thus I have magical powers

As Ava awesomeness knows, reenactments are in order till January


Love filling the void and fictional romance

will be back soon with talk about the Lost

: )

Walking the Plank (Without intentions of being Awkity, insightful, pretentious or anything)

Do you remember in Peter Pan when little Wendy Darling walks the plank on captain hooks boat after refusing to sign herself and the Darling boys away to his ship? I swear I would sit there in front of the TV fiend status watching it over and over again. Well lately I've had the Wendy image stuck in my head. In bed at night when I'm trying to push out thoughts of all the work I have to do and replace it with contemplations over the details of the wedding dress that Pam WILL wear eventually (Omg office way to crush me with lack of ring on Beasley finger). So this "Walk the Plank, Wendy Darling" image constantly rushes to me like some weird psychological stuffers. You know there's a lot of times when I'm ready to tackle everything, when I ready to storm the day, but at the end of said day at the moments of choice and ultimatum it becomes extraordinarily easier to ignore it all. Hoping for it to pass. So there I am under the clean linens in my little white girl room and I realize that when you come down to it the more I struggle against the machine the closer I get to the edge of the plank, hands tied.

In any words I'm no Wonder woman... I could be but I'm too chicken to crack the whip and deflect the offence with my swanky gold bracelets .

Maybe I'll kick some ass. But, you know, it sounds easier tomorrow.


: )